I've been debating the thought of being "done" having children. Darin is ready to take the final cut (ahem) but I have to be the one to make the appointment. He says that, I believe, because he knows I am tormented!
We prayed to God for years to allow us to have a family. It took so long, and so much work and YEARS of heartache. Now after what seems like 4 very short years - I have 3 new (beautiful) smiling faces staring at me from the dinner table. I'm thankful, and so grateful to have the opportunity to be their Mother and to live a new life through them.
But the flip side of that coin is this: How do you tell God? How do I say to Him, "Thanks for your blessings - but, I'm good now!" It feels wrong and unfair to be in that position. I'm not getting any younger so decisions have to be made, right? Now you see my struggle. My unrest with the entire situation.
Tonight I have this conversation again with my Mom. But tonight - she gives me an amazing new perspective. I ask my Mom how do you decide and tell God "no more" when you've been in our shoes? She tells me I don't have to work it that way. She basically says to me that I should thank God, raise my children in the right way, and pray that He will bless another family that is struggling to complete their family. I've never thought of it this way! It seems so simple and completely reasonable. I have everything I ever wanted and more than I ever dreamed of. I do want others to be able to have that feeling for themselves as well.
My beautiful Mother is still the one with all the answers! If you need advice or to just feel better with a hard decision - ask her!