Friday, May 13, 2011

Poop Obsession - this weeks bathroom humor

Not a topic for the light hearted, or the weak stomached.  Not really "dinner-time" discussion unless you are a parent, and have had to change a poopy diaper in the middle of dinner.  Of all the hats I wear - poop inspector is my LEAST favorite.  Prior to children I never would have believed that much of my time would be spent analyzing poop.

Is it yellow?  Words like "seedy" and "mucousy" are uttered in a natural way, and on a regular basis.  Darin has even coined breastfed baby poo as smelling like "buttery popcorn." - I should clarify this with him because I can't tell if it's the microwavable kind or the kind you get in an actual movie theater?

 I overheard him speaking once to one of his guy friends after our first child was born - I can't recall the conversation verbatim, but I know it went something like this:  "Dude, have her breastfeed - the diapers smell like buttery popcorn, it's not bad."

Potty training Cameron went pretty well once I was home on maternity leave.  I was able to hunker down with him and really be consistent.  (3 weeks of not being able to leave the house, due to not having a vehicle that could hold our entire family was actually a blessing in our case!)  He would poo in the chair,eventually -  but he would throw a fit, literally running around in circles - and wait until the last possible second before he had to go.  His pants, underwear and socks, all wound up flying in the air and leaving a trail behind him to the chair. 

Today on the chair he asks me: "Mommy I pooped!  Does this make you happy?"  Now that is a loaded question.

On one hand, sure it does! You pooped where you should have.  This pleases me. 

On the other hand, I am eating lunch, which I now have to set down.  Now I have to wipe your little arse.  Dump the potty chair.  Clean the chair.  Wash my hands.  Sit back down to my lunch and pass on eating the raisins and the chocolate pudding.  So what was the question again?  Oh yes, I'm thrilled.

On Wednesday I was cleaning his potty seat out and as I lifted it he starts freaking out "Oh no Mommy! My chocolate, my chocolate!"  I didn't even look.  I just said if there is chocolate anywhere attached to this chair or the surrounding area you are NOT eating it.  He was mad at me all night, repeatedly telling Cricket that I threw out his chocolate.  Shame on me, right?!

On Mother's day we are having a nice dinner (I made "Cheaters Crock-Pot Roast" - which is basically stew meat in a crockpot with carrots and a potatoes.)  I place the children's food in bowls.  Both Cameron and Cricket are eating it quite well.  Then Cricket picks up a hunk of beef and says "Ewwww poop."  I told her it wasn't poop, it was meat and she should go ahead and eat it.  She takes a big bite and says "Mmmm. Good poop Mommy."  Yes, happy Mother's Day to me.

We had another poop incident this week too - as a matter of fact on Mother's Day...again.  This time it was Darin.  We are at the Home Depot.  Darin hits the restroom before we leave.  He comes walking out and is trying to convince me to go in there and look at this "huge poop" that is "sticking out of the toilet."  (It wasn't his - he was just in absolute awe of it I suppose.)  No thanks!  I didn't go look.  I spend WAY more time than I like looking at the excrement from my own family members.  I certainly don't need to add a strangers doo-doo to my list.

1 comment:

  1. omg.. I actual LOL'd at the "good poop mommy" ... is it wrong that I can't wait for David to talk so he can entertain